Don’t Let The Pain Win
I woke up from the same nightmare I had been having for 2 years. My heart was beating rapidly and the darkness of the room covered all of the space around me. As much as I’d like to convince myself otherwise, there might not be such a thing as being completely healed. At least those are the cards I have been dealt.
I had no idea what depression and anxiety truly looked like until the events in my life brought a level of chaos to my doorsteps that was impossible to outrun. It felt abnormal. How could it happen? I worked on myself to prepare for the pain, but the beast was much larger than I anticipated.
The twists and turns have certainly taken their toll. Life-altering events became part of the norm. It has taken time to process everything, so bear with me as I navigate.
I did my best to take it in stride. As the saying goes, “time waits for no man” and it sure didn’t wait for me to figure all of this out. Writing about the journey opened my eyes to where I have been at each stage of the process. It’s intriguing to revisit many of the moments I have documented.
The amount of time that has been compressed into the last several years cannot be articulated in a way that I can give it justice, however, I had to grow quickly in order to keep up. Reminding myself to control what I can and accept the current reality has been a unique challenge. I cannot alter the events that have occurred, but I owe it to myself to continue building.
I spend a lot of time working on my mind. Since 2021, the effort has increased exponentially. Daily meditations, affirmations, writing, gratitude and learning are mandatory. This work is often much tougher than I imagined it would be.
On this particular morning, the same nightmare shook me awake once again, so I knew it was time to begin my practice. When I rose on this occasion, my nephew rolled over. He immediately became curious and asked why I was up so early. He had no idea what I was processing or that they gave me every reason to power through troubling times.
One thing I consistently remind myself of each day is everybody has a story. They might not sound exactly like mine, but we all have moments when trauma arrives, when we feel uncertain or when life changes so quickly we are unable to prepare. The world can be unforgiving, but our duty is to remain resilient and show up as our best each day.
If you are battling through something, take it from me. There is a way to find peace in the midst of the chaos.
Be honest.
Acknowledge what you feel.
Seek help when you need it.
Work through the pain.
Work through the fear.
Work through the struggle.
Work through the doubt.
There is a version of you that you don’t even know yet.
In It’s Gonna Hurt, But It Won’t Kill You, I write in detail about The History, The Hurt, The Hate, The Help and The Healing. These are the elements that have shaped and reshaped my world. It gets rough, but I refuse to give up.
I have to reiterate every chance I get these days, this fight is much bigger than me.
Stay tuned.
As always, remember . . .
No matter what happens in your life, no matter how tough it gets…
It’s gonna hurt, but it won’t kill you.
-TK
