INDEPENDENT, Do You Know What that Means?
I flipped the card over and immediately burst out into a laughter before I could read it aloud. The game is Black Card Revoked, and this was the moment I knew I didn’t need to guess what was on everybody’s mind.
The question: Who taught you how to spell independent?
A. A teacher
B. Lil Webbie
C. Destiny’s Child
D. Lil Boosie
The clear answer to anybody not living under a rock during that time period is Lil Webbie. Not that he actually taught the spelling, but it goes without saying that it was nearly impossible to avoid screaming the spelling of INDEPENDENT whenever the song came on. It is just the season we were all in during 2007/2008.
At this stage of my life, I receive a lot of advice—mostly unsolicited—about what I should be doing during this season. Some say it should be a season of being selfish. Others think it should be a season of doing what I didn’t over the last decade and a half. When I look around, neither of those are truly befitting of the person I consider myself to be. Quite frankly, it is more important for me to utilize this time to do the work I know needs to be done.
I spend a lot of time alone and focused on building from where I am. The simple power of presence has given me a roadmap to discover more as I continue this unique journey of mine. Creating boundaries are a different experience of their own, but I know I need to do a much better job of properly taking care of myself. It has been a learning process to say the least.
My operations have historically been a bit different than most. There’s just something about not doing what the crowd does that suits me. For a period, I lost that and life humbled me. When I sit back to reflect, I am fully aware of all of the time I cannot get back and that drives me to aim higher. As the saying goes, the best way to predict your future is to create it. I am grateful to be creating from a much better place now.
I have always been the kind of person to take things into my own hands. That doesn’t mean everything has always worked out in my favor, however, that positions me to share the praise when we win and accept responsibility when they go awry. Obviously, the latter is a much tougher pill to swallow, but acceptance and being honest with yourself are integral parts of the process.
If I had to describe this season in any way, I’d say it’s a season of love and I plan to continue sharing it. That might look quite a bit different than it has over the last 30+ years of my life, but I am empowered just as much as I have ever been to keep loving. It’s what I needed during my highest times. It’s absolutely what I needed during my lowest. It’s what we all need right now.
As I have said before, love is a powerful motivator. Love brought me here and will carry me through the endeavors that lie ahead. A special kind of love laid the foundation for my growth. As Jon B. sang, They Don’t Know and it would be tough to describe it here. Regardless of how others feel about it, I know what is important to me. This is the love season and I am happy to be here.
As always, remember . . . It’s gonna hurt, but it won’t kill you.
-TK
