A Beginner’s Guide To Checking On Your Strong Friend
Ever wonder how your strong friend is keeping it together when there is so much going on? Despite how tough things appear to be, they continue to be there for others. They’re optimistic. They bring smiles to everyone else’s face when they’re around. They know all the right things to say to help others feel better. You know your strong friend has their own battles, but you’re not exactly sure how to approach being there for them.
Here are a few things to remember and others you can try to ensure your strong friend doesn’t keep carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders:
1) The simplest thing to do is to reach out. It’s absolutely true what they say. You never know what someone is going through.
2) Don’t assume your strong friend has everything together. The truth is they’re likely just carrying it all differently than everybody else.
2) Ask about their experience genuinely. Behind the smiles and the I’m okays could easily be stress, anxiety and pain they’re not immediately sharing. Consistent and genuine expressions of your thoughtfulness will open up conversations about things you might not even be aware of.
3) Send the random texts separate from your larger friend group. Whether it’s “Just checking on you,” or “Love you,” or “You’re doing great,” doesn’t matter. Messages to your strong friends to let them know you’re thinking about them specifically are invaluable.
4) Before you make the phone call to share what you’re going through, pause for a second and think about what could be on their plate. Did they say anything in your last conversation that you should ask them about? Be aware.
5) Speak with them about their self-care routine. Your strong friend might only know one mode — GO! Share your self-care tips. Make sure they’re not just in overdrive constantly. If it’s possible, do it with them.
6) Assuming you know what their calendar looks like, set up some time for you to spend together. Plan a picnic. Buy tickets. Make a reservation. It isn’t specifically the idea of hanging out that makes the difference here. It’s the idea that you took something off of their plate and simultaneously scheduled time to be in their presence.
7) Send them a random GIF or gift. When you know what your strong friend cares about and express it to them, those little moments make a big difference. I promise. They don’t take it for granted.
8) Keep important dates on your calendar. If your strong friend has been through a traumatic experience, they might not be talking much about it, but they’re thinking about it.
It’s worth noting this is not an exhaustive list, however, this foundation could make your friendship or relationship even stronger. Don’t discount the importance of asking. It’s hard to quantify how much they’ll appreciate it.
No matter what happens in your life . . .
No matter how tough it gets. . .
Remember . . . It’s gonna hurt, but it won’t kill you.
-TK
